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Talking about Cold is a relative thing...

Cold is a relative thing...

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian and English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
People in Michigan close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let their dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Michigan get upset because their snowmobiles won't start.

40 below zero:
All atomic motion stops.
People in Michigan start saying, 'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Michigan public schools open 2 hours late.